Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Self-Centered or Anxiety?

I really try, very hard, not to do a lot of complaining about our life here & our current living situation, when I do I seem to start focusing too much on the negative & less on the good things.

We don't have air conditioning in our house - none, no forced air, no swamp cooler, nothing. I'm very proactive in maintaining the coolness in the front part of the house, if the air that's coming in starts to get too warm, I immediately close the front door & the windows, to make sure the thick walls & shade trees can do their job. 

I close doors in the house that lead to rooms that are warmer than the rest of the house & if I need to use the oven, I do it while it's cool. 

I use fans to move hot air out of the house & circulate air around a room. I wear cool, loose, comfortable clothing. 

I take warm showers, because taking a cold shower means the air in the house is that much warmer than my skin & I am immediately sweating again.

Sometimes the house is too hot, and I get grumpy, but usually, I manage to keep it in a bearable range. I don't feel put upon or deprived when it's like that, it's how summer works - it gets hot. 

I don't bitch on Facebook that it's 80+ degrees in the house & hotter than the rest of the house & how I'm in a "hell box" that's closed off from the rest of the house. I don't whine to the world that I don't have AC & how that's all I want in a dream house. (For the record it's usually 80+ in here, too)

You know what I want? I want Erin back. I want my daughter here. Yes, I want our other son & his family to be happy & comfortable, but damn, how does bitching about it accomplish that?  It's not like we keep them trapped in the back of the house, they choose to be in there. They started hanging out there exclusively when we bought new furniture & asked that we not have every toy our granddaughter owned in here. 

Anyway. I needed to vent. I vented.

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