Friday, October 2, 2015

I know..

It's been a month since I posted anything in here. It's hard to write sometimes when you feel like there may be people reading this & sitting there in judgement of my words & feelings.

We finally received your death certificate about a week & a half or so ago. I told the people that I felt needed to know & didn't tell anyone else. It's a private matter, a family matter, not for the whole world. So, if you read this & I didn't tell you, I most likely felt like you didn't have a need to know (or I forgot), but you know, it won't change anything, you're still dead.

Dad had another bad day today, he had to take a vacation day & leave work. It's hard to answer phone calls when you're crying. We all just miss you so damned much.

Oh. You were right about me being anemic. I'm getting a handle on it now. I should have listened to you then, but it sounded crazy. Now I'm exhausted all the time & just hoping to start feeling normal again. If I have a normal anymore.