Monday, May 25, 2015

Salt Wars

I haven't posted in a few days, we were traveling to & from Salt War & your memorial for them. It was cold and rainy, but the site was beautiful, you'd have loved it so much. It reminded me of the place we used to go Uprising at. Your knight isn't handling your passing well & I wish I could reach out & help her, but I'm not sure how or what to say or do, sometimes I feel like I'm being judged for whatever I seem to be feeling or not feeling. I don't know, but I'm sure the only pain I can manage right now is my own.

It rained pretty much all day, every day, until Sunday. Kurt nearly died on Friday night/Saturday morning. He had a near-fatal asthma attack & had to be intubated & rushed to the ER, where he was admitted to the ICU. After they handled his breathing, they found out he was nearly kidney failure from dehydration, as well. He was discharged on Sunday, after we had headed home.

The memorial was beautiful, so many people spoke of you with fondness & love, so many tears. You are (and always will be) missed to the core of all of us. Agard & Bruff closed it out by singing & playing "Wagon Wheel," on guitar & mando, while everyone there sang along - you'd have loved it.

Bella. She thought she heard you fighting the ditch line on Saturday, she got so excited - barking her crazy yipping bark, wagging her whole body, only to see it wasn't you. She sleeps with us, coming back upstairs to guard me after her breakfast if I'm still in bed, just like she always did with you.

I guess I've had my morning cry, now time for the business of everyday - food. Shower. Bills. Groceries.

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