I wonder about some of those relationships, not understanding what the draw to those people was. I know you rarely offered just part of your friendship to anyone, so you must have seen something worthwhile in order to expend the effort. I know that like attracts like & that probably explains more than I want to think about right now.
I honestly wish you could have seen how many people genuinely loved & cared for you. I wish you hadn't shut so many people out of your life. I wish you had realized how much dad & I loved you & wanted the best for you, even when things were difficult between us. I guess I could spend the rest of my life beating myself up with all of the "if only" and "I wish" statements, but they won't bring you back.
I just miss you.