I feel better since we got back home. It could be closure, it could be Zoloft, it doesn't matter, I feel like I can get through every day now. I still ache for your presence, I still feel like a piece of my soul is missing, but I know that will always be the case. Our family will always be missing a member, we can't change that, no matter how much we all wish we could, or that we could understand what happened that night. I'm learning to deal with my regrets, either by owning them or releasing them, a little at a time, eventually, maybe the only ones that will be left will be those that changed all of us.