Anyway. I'm getting things ready for our trip back, to see your sister. To finish saying goodbye. To scatter some ashes. To get the remaining detritus of our lives there & try to start over again. I miss you. So, so much. I miss the things we used to do together - just you & I, things I may never be able to do again without bawling my eyes out.
We aren't going to Gage's funeral. I can't even talk about it out loud without crying because it brings back all of my pain over losing you. We wouldn't do them any good by being so torn apart by our own pain.