It's Just Hard

I've been trying to get ready for your funeral rites over the past few days, at times it's almost easy & other times, like today, I can't stop crying. I'm making the memorial cards today & trying to decide on a picture that captures who you were is almost impossible. The quote wasn't quite as hard, but no less painful. 

I found the Amtgard video you made for Sindari last night. I was so happy, because I knew it had your voice on it & I couldn't remember what you sounded like anymore. It broke me, to see you just being you, doing your thing, but it was so good, too. Jaden made a tribute video for you last night, I saw it this morning & cried for a long time before I got out of bed. I'm sure it will get harder the closer we get, but it needs to be done. Maybe it will give us all a little more closure, I don't know.